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Sunday, 19 November 2017

We All Have Our Demons

Dearest hearts all over the world,

This letter, this post, goes to everyone out there. We are human beings, we have feelings, we have a head and a heart that are constantly having fights over whom rules. We are built with an internal struggle, a struggle sometimes raging like a lion but sometimes calm as the sea (before the storm). I believe that everyone has their own demons, their own problems, their own baggage that they drag along with them, throughout their life. People sometimes handle those issue on their own, sometimes friends help them, other times the psychologists and sometimes... more often then one cares to admit, sometimes some people handle it through ultimate drastic measures: taking their life. Everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion, everyone is entitled to their own beliefs that should NEVER be forced upon others. Belief, Faith, is something that you carry inside of you each and every moment of every day. It guides you and created a set of rules by which you guide upon. Faith creates a pillar of strength in your life, something upon which you can lean when the winds of life blow hard. Most religions are the same in one way or another. Most religions believe in one God, one Deity, that "rules them all", that has the right over all things and beings. For example, I like to call myself a free thinker/believer: I believe in God and Jesus and the Holy Ghost/Spirit. I believe that our sins are washed away by the hand of God, throughout the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. I believe I am saved because I believe in Him.
I was born in a Christian orthodox family, going to church for confession, quite often, especially during the big celebrations - Easter, Christmas. On the second year of University both me and my mum baptised to the Evanghelical faith - it just felt weird to have a priest being the middle man between myself and God. My husband, my better half, was supposed to be a Catholic priest. He comes from a family that truly believes and goes to church every weekend. I have friends that are convinced atheists, I have friends who have aligned themselves to joga and Buddhism. I try to keep and open mind and remind myself daily that the life choices we make are out own. We cannot change anyone except our self and we cannot make choices for anyone except our self. Being a mother is a huge responsibility - the way you for your child, the teachings that you give, are vital for it's development. Did you know that latest studies show that what parents show that they do in their day to day life, up to the moment when the child reaches the age of 3 years, will be essentially what the child will be doing when they will grow up. If you are a mother like myself, focused also on studies and what scientists have researched, you also know about the post partum depression. Once you deliver the baby, you will somehow feel that something is missing. Also adjusting to yourself as mother and adjusting to your bundle of joy might be experienced differently by many people. I have met mothers whom one would not have thought fitting for the task, yet when the baby comes it all comes naturally. I have met mothers who waited for their babies for a long while, wanted them ever since they could remember, yet when they are faced with their progeny they back down - they have no clue what to do, they can't feel the bond. I've also read the story of a mother who had 2 children and then there was an "accident" and child number 3 came! And she could not love him, even after several years... Everyone has their own demons!
There are moments in life when we catch our self thinking bad things about others, judging, gossiping. I do believe that talking and even thinking bad of others brings bad blood and dark energies, negative energy towards the one who thinks evil. I also believe in the wheel of life, one day we may be up there, but there are "down" moments that bring us back and ground us to earth. I believe that if we do good things, good deeds, besides the fact that we will feel better, the Universe will conspire and good things will (eventually) come our way - be it in this world or the other! I believe that when we do "bad blood", when we gossip, that's counted as a sin; but I somehow that's not a big enough sin to get us sent to Hell. On the other hand, I believe the greatest sin, the sin from which you cannot repent, is the act of suicide. The ultimate act of sin is taking away ones own life. Some may find it as a rather courageous, brave act. Nothing can be further away from the truth. Suicide means running away from responsibiliy, it means giving up on yourself and the ones who care about you; in a way it is rather a selfish act of letting things go, so that others can handle the rest, the bits and pieces of your leftover life. I believe that each person has dark moments in their life - what matters and what shows a character of a human being is how one passes through these dark stages. As human beings we are created with great potential for both Good and Bad - rather like the philosophy of Yin and Yang, the 2 sides cohabit. It's up to us to make sure that on a daily basis we make the correct decision: to fight our demons and go towards the light!
     
Yours truly,
The Twisted Red Ladybug That Believes That People Can Redeem Themselves