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Thursday, 26 October 2017

A Letter To My 21 Year Old Self, On My 31 Year Of Life

Dearest Evening Star,

Happy happy glorious sunshined birthday lady! I wish I could have told you then what I know now. I wish you could read this letter and see that indeed world is such a wonderfully big place, but somehow we can all fit in it. Of course, you knew it then and you know it now as well that it's cool being a rockstar but that's not the life for You. Family will always come first and your home is always where your heart is. The trouble, you will find, is that your heart is like a puzzle and a piece of it might stay with each person you love or with every place that you fall in love with. That will cause you to feel like home in many places throughout the world. Dearest heart, fret not, don't stop writing (it will help you relax and unload your soul), don't stop reading (you'll find that books are stable good friends that never let you down), don't stop dreaming big (don't stop daydreaming as well! It's good for your soul).
When I was just a little girl, smaller than kindergarden even, I had a thought that people who were 30 years old are old... Now you're not yet 30, you're on your roaring 20's, having fun and learning and making friends that you think will last forever (some do last that long, so don't be too sad!). I'm in my 30's and even as I say it out loud I can't seem to believe it. I have no clue where the last 10 years went away. I'm not sad but thinking in retrospective it seems as if time flies faster and faster as we grow older. More things cover up our time and the endless pace of the day sometimes is maddening. I've fulfilled a lot of items on our #bucketlist - some new ones were added and some that you never thought you would do have been crossed out. If you could read this, I would love you to know that:
1. You're going to travel, quite a lot, mainly by plane, and you will love It! You will love flying, you love the sentiment when you are soaring high above the clouds. You love napping in planes - you'll even nap during a storm! 
2. You are brave! It's true, you get scared and you may tremble but what you start you will always finish and go through: tandem parachute jumping, zorbing down the hill... You can do It! 
3. You will, in time, settle down with the birthday parties - you'll still love having people near you, you'll love getting presents, but you'll just want to stay home, play a game, read a book, and not party all night. That is fun in your 20s but not as hip in your 30s. Plus, you'll wanna spend it with a close circle - with the ones who truly matter, family and very close friends.
4. You don't believe It, but you're gonna actually get married! 3 times! Of course with the same amazing Polish lad, but each time in a different year: first civil wedding + party, next year church wedding + party in Poland, next year party in Romania. I know! It sounds crazy, but you'll do It, and you're gonna have so much fun!
Church Wedding in Krakow
5. You're gonna move to Poland! That's right! And you're gonna visit Auschwitz as well, of course... You're gonna say that you'll stay in Krakow just 6 months to build up international experience on your CV. 6 years counting and you're still here, still very much in love! :)))
The TV crew from TVN
6. You're gonna stop blogging and then start blogging again. This time it's gonna stick! And you're gonna love writing again and getting creative. You're gonna get featured in the regional newspaper Dziennik Polski and spear on the local TV station Dzien Dobry TVN!
My true love ๐Ÿ’—
7. You're going to have a baby by the time you're 30 years old!  You know how you've always wanted a little bundle of joy, well... You're gonna have your wish come true! A lovely Ladybug Baby Girl ๐Ÿž stubborn and proud and brave and... curly! She doesn't have blue eyes as you would have imagined but she's perfect nonetheless! 
8. You will realise that you would have needed extra language skills - if you can, learn Polish! It would save you the trouble of the first 2 years until I've opened my mouth and said "Dzien Dobry" (Polish: Good morning) properly. I'm not saying it's a must... but it would be helpful ;)
9. Not everyone who enters your life is here to stay, nor will they treat you fair or act with good manners - everyone learns this the hard way, by failing, but I wish you would know this. Not every friend you make is a true friend, not everyone that you will help or invest your heart in will do the same. People are not always what they seem to be. There is this dark side to them - some keep it well hidden. Be careful, remember you are a good person - it is not your fault!
Me and my amazing big sister ๐Ÿ’—
10. Spend as much time as you can with Buni and Bunu, Mama and Dana. Tell them daily how much you love them - they know, but that's not the point... We are not eternal in this human body. This is flesh.  It rots away, we get sick, people die... Tell Bunu you love him to the moon and back again.  Everyday.  He knows. You won't learn that he has passed away until it's too late... they'll keep it away so you can go on with the civil wedding. You won't get a chance to be at the funeral. You'll be heartbroken. But you'll be back again - you have Buni and Mum and Dana and Marek. He's going to be with you. Always. In your heart. 

And don't forget: always listen to your heart!

Yours lovingly,
31 Year Old You (Me)